read it on tumblr if you care about me: [link]

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what do I get for your 12th birthday, being a 9-year paying customer?

OH what's that? not a goodamn thing?

well that's fucking wonderful...

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A few people (both on the web and in real life) have asked me what I believe in.  For a long time I would have answered 'atheist' or just 'not applicable.'  But even just saying that made me feel kind of empty.

I've only lightly researched what I can about other religions on the internet (and through speaking to a handful of friends).  I know that's not nearly enough time spent, but they all seem to have a reoccurring theme; Worshiping a deity (or multiple deities).   I find the question of 'did a god or higher power create the universe' a completely useless question impossible to answer, so lets look at what we can prove with science:

-There was a big bang or massive explosion of some type many billions of years before stars were even created.
-All matter we know was procured from this event.
-Even though our molecules have split and bonded countless times over, we are all made from the same fantastic matter.

So many of life's questions can be answered with science; admittedly, there are a few thing science cannot answer.  This is where human-kind starts to split off into religions.  When an question cannot be answered simply, we hold a deity responsible.  And I, personally, cannot accept that.  

I put my faith into my fellow humans. I believe that any trials and tribulations we as a species face (from building safe homes for the poor, to fighting off disease in a laboratory) can be conquered together, so long as we keep faith in each other.

To call Faitheism a 'religion' is a farce.  The focus of this practice is improvement of a species.  Every day when I wake up, I think to myself 'how can I contribute to society to make it a better place?'  it can be as simple as smiling at your neighbour, or volunteering to help less fortunate people.

A huge portion of a religion is used to distinguish between right and wrong.  This is even used in many justice systems (swearing on a bible for example).  It is my belief that every human being is born with an innate (but basic) sense of good.  Now i'm not a psychologist, I cannot say definitively what causes a person to 'do bad things.'  But i'm 99.9% sure that the person who commits an atrocity knows damn well what they are doing is wrong and harmful to their fellow man.

My husband had a hard time comprehending this belief, despite the fact that he is an atheist.  It took the aversion of a physical fight with another person for him to finally understand.  

At a friends wedding, my husband noted that an 'old friend' of his was attending.  We both know that this man was not truly his friend, or they would have kept in touch.   After the lovely service, the crowds of people dispersed and mingled in the hall, I went over and spoke to this 'old friend'.  It was my first time meeting the man and he seemed 'interested' in me.  When I picked up on the 'vibe' I immediately noted that I was Graham's wife.  The friend responded with a somewhat insulting phrase about Graham that I do not care to repeat.  One of Graham's nearby friends heard the line and ran away to tell Graham about this apparent 'injustice' dealt behind his back.

My eyes went wide, I knew what would happen if Graham heard what happened.  But I was too late, he was informed and furious.  If I kept the snide remark to myself and just walked away, no harm would have come.  Graham went around to his other friends at the after-party and relayed the situation to them, finishing his line with "Wouldn't you kick his ass too?" and everyone he spoke to agreed with him, except me.

This frustrated the hell out of him. Why was it that, the one other person this affects, his true love, was not phased by this?  It took some screaming and crying to get the point across to him that this 'old friend' is just a lesser person that preys on emotionally weak people.  The only way to defeat him is to be a better person.  To NOT react, because that's what he thrives on.  If you can laugh and shrug off a foolish comment, you ARE a better person.  We cannot let our negative emotions define our actions, because it will lead to violence.

Thankfully, he finally understood and instead of hitting him, Graham calmly and maturely told him that he was upset and never wanted to see him again.  The 'old friend' nodded and walked away.  We have not heard from him since.  I sincerely hope he finds his own happiness, and not at the cost of others feelings.

After reading all of this, if you are truly interested in practicing, you do NOT have to change your lifestyle, or even stop worshiping your respective deities either.  All you have to do is find a way to make another person happy, even if it's a complete stranger.  And most importantly, never EVER bring another person down for ANY reason, even if they are in the wrong.  

End Note: Since this is the internet, I fully expect there to be several people who do not agree with this post.  I am NOT telling you how to live your life, this is just how i live mine.

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I just got back from animation school, i had a meeting with the co-ordinator to discuss what i can do in terms of re-applying.  He was impressed with my portfolio and gave me kudos for having my own self-published book (BloodSlave).  We both agreed that september start was not a good idea partly because it isn't fair to the kids who applied in april, and the class is over-booked to start.  So i'll be applying for January (2013) start.

Before i can officially celebrate, i have to complete a drawing test in November.  I have to brush up on my structural life drawing, so i'm going to be searching my area for some model sessions (or maybe i'll just get a big mirror!).  I'll scan/take a pic of any life drawings i do and post them here and on my tumblr.  This seems like a really great time to prepare an anatomy tutorial too, so i'll be working on that as well.

Thanks again to all those wonderful friends who have been supporting me.  I don't care if i've met you in real life, or if we are online buddies, ALL OF YOUR WORDS MEAN SO MUCH TO ME AND I REALLY WOULDN'T BE WHERE I AM NOW WITHOUT YOUR SUPPORT!!! *wipes tear*

So, i'm going to have a nap, and maybe a celebratory drink (if i don't feel too sick!).  If things go well, i should be posting some life drawings this weekend.


*faints*

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WOW! there sure has been an unusually large amount of you this week!!

EHEHEHEHE so i'll just go and ...

draw.....

something......?


O_________O




*performance anxiety*

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can't sleep tonight because all i can think about is going back to school.  it's been over 7 years since i walked out of Seneca, and i haven't turned back once.  

Some of you may know, that i have been out of a job for a while, a long while, since January 2012.  After leaving school, i worked a myriad of retail and call centre jobs for decent coin.  I currently own a house with my boyfriend, but we are not having any financial troubles, that's not what this is about.

I left my last retail job (10.60$/h to be a keyholder at a home  decor store) for an offer at a very VERY high paying call centre job.  but it was a scam.... they sold subscriptions to people, but my job was 'retention', as in 'don't let anyone cancel their subscriptions, pressure them to buy more'  and don't have the heart to be a pushy salesman.  so i respectively quit.  i went back to my store to get my old job back, but they had literally fired everyone who worked there and replaced them with 'friends' of upper management (i handed in a resume, but i'm pretty sure they blacklisted me...)

so for the past 7 months i've been a stay-at-home waifu.  and again, i'm NOT complaining about that.  i enjoy cooking and cleaning, and drawing in my spare time.  But this is about my development as a person.

There are so many shows and movies out now that are based on comics, i desperatley want a piece of that.  But no one in the industry will give you the time of day without that fancy little piece of paper (diploma/certificaite).  The fear of failing out again is also very prevalent in my mind.  I've always been terrible at school, teachers either love me or hate me (i never know why either).

Aside from the terrible self-doubt, i wouldn't even know where to start.  i still have 3 years worth of credits for art fundamentals and animation arts.  do they expire? can i carry them over and start again? what about the ONE failed credit that lost me the semester?  (just so you know, the requirement to pass a term is minimum 70% in all classes.  i failed due to a 69% in ONE class.  it is also merely hearsay, but it was mentioned to me by another former student that the teacher of said failed class was FIRED for failing too many students, of this i have no actual proof).

You endured my rant, and i thank you for reading.  any advice you have would be appreciated...

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i never thought i'd see the day!

i am less than 5000 views away from 100k!

i'm guestimating that we should be at 99,999 sometime in september/october of this year, so check back in a few month, if you see 99,999 views on my page take a SCREEN CAP of it, save it somewhere (your dA sta.sh or scraps should be fine, photobucket is good too) and send me the link _{though i tend to get the screen cap myself....}
YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE A MEMBER OF DEVIANTART TO WIN! if you need to notify me, you can use my tumblr ask (remove the http:// from the link and put (.) around the periods).

since this is a pretty big achievement, i'll offer a sweet prize:

one full color drawing (traditional OR digital, your choice)
this can be a pinup or a comic page (comic pages can be 2-7 panels, and can hold up to 1 paragraph of prose)
since i am out of a job, i can't offer to mail anything :/ sorry

Restrictions:
- anthro and kerimomimi is acceptable (but i reserve the right to refuse, i normally don't allow anthro requests at ALL)
- hentai, yuri, yaoi, hetero, shota, tenta is acceptable, but the user MUST be over 18 (and it will be posted on my ero tumblr, and not dA)
- violence, blood, guro, vore is acceptable (also, must be 18 and if it's bad i will have to put it on my tumblr and not dA)
- crossover/slash is acceptable
- OCs are acceptable
- ideological issues (lets talk first... o_O)


please post any questions you have here as it's likely other people are wondering the same thing but are too shy to ask!

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tagged by


1. Tacos or burritos?
DOUBLE LAYER TACO BURRITO (actually i like crunchwraps!)

2. Do you live life on Tumblr?
tumblr, dA and y!

3. What is your favorite OC if you've created one? If not, what's your favorite anime/manga/tvshow/ect character?
Braeden!!! [link]

4. If you were stuck on a deserted island and could only bring one character from an anime/manga.. Who would it be and why?
uh, Braeden?

5. If one plus one is dolphin, what is two plus two?
Sperm whale <<<<This is Hika's answer and i stand by it.

6. ARE YOU SEXY AND YOU KNOW IT? (You better put yes peeps >>)


7. IF we met in real life, what would you say/do? If you know me in RL, GLOMP ME~ LET ME LOVE YOU!
I think Hika and i would have a comfy tea break in the rain with some insence.  *thunder cracks* "HOLD ME!"

8. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
I'd probably visit my old friend at his new pad on the Atlantic coast, i haven't seen it yet!

9. Have you ever fallen in a toilet?
just the tip

10. Cats or dogs? And why?
grew up with both.  so both.




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Hika's questions:

1. Pepsi or Coke?
Diet coke because it's less sweet than pepsi.

2. If you were to win the lottery, outside of paying off debt, what would your first big purchase be?
ART SUPPLIES (then maybe a new gas-efficient seddan :3)

3. Continuing off of the lottery question; would you use some of your earnings to visit any internet friends, or have them come visit you?
i suppose that depends on the amount, but i would offer my closest friends a paid-inviation to a WICKED PARTY AT MY HOUSE!!!!!!

4. Do you wear any jewelry on a daily basis?
yes, 3 silver rings, and my meteor pendant which is on a silver chain.  i have 0g stretched ears, but i switch them constantly.

5. What Disney character can you relate to the most?
Mulan maybe, i dunno, they all had such absurd problems.

6. If your life was a video game, which one would you want it to be?
CHRONO CROSS

7. What song are you currently listening to on repeat?
Mumford & Sons - Lion Man

8. If I came to you sobbing, what would you do?
LET ME HOLD U BBY ILL CATCH UR TEARS IN MY BEWBIES

9. What is your favorite comic/manga?
ahahahaha BloodSlave!!!!

10. If you could have any super power in the world, what would it be and why?
FIRE


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my questions (totes optional guys)

1. what is your highest level of education
2. do you plan on going to post-secondary school? (for the first time, or plan on returning? and what course?)
3. you just found the higgs boson an can travel at light speed, where in the universe would you go and why?
4. if you could be sucked into any fandom world, which would it be?
5. favourite dessert?

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TAGS!!!





and anyone else who would like to!

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one more person say something about lapinda,


I FUCKING DARE YOU.

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[link]
OFFLINE!

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[link]

OFF

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check it out! [link]

Let me know if there is an OC i have overlooked that you would like to know more about!!

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gonna paint stuff!

HAHA I DONT KNOW HOW TO PAINT!!!



back in like, i dunno, lets say 5 days.

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[link]
OFFLINE

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The work(s) listed below have been removed by staff due to a violation of deviantART policy or because its theme or content was judged unacceptable. Your deviantART submissions must obey certain guidelines and restrictions.

If you are uncertain why the submission was removed or if you have any questions or believe this removal to be an error please contact the deviantART Help Desk.

Title: Hyuuga Hinata pinup
Submitted: 2007-03-06 2:51:20 pm



The administrator who deleted your deviation added the following:
Deleted in response to case #1896465


========================================================

yep, they didn't even give me a reason this time.  either someone really hates Hinata, or someone really hates me.

either way, i'm not upset.  i don't give a shit about naruto anymore and if they deleted every single naruto fanart (OR ALL FANART FOR THAT MATTER) from my gallery, i'd be pretty happy about it.  i will NOT be re-sourcing the drawing they deleted today (unlike the naru/hina one) simply because it was a shitty pic to start with.

someone requested a few days ago to have that picture in their Hinata group on DA, but i declined because it was bad work of mine that i didn't want re-displayed.  i offered to the requester a few other pics, which they added, so i don't suspect it was them.

a word of advice to my fellow deviants.  if you like Hinata, and you like drawing her, make sure you draw we wearing her fucking sweater, otherwise you are drawing child pornography.........

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old ladytron is on her last legs.
i've thankfully backed up all my art and hentai, so i'm prepared for the worst!

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HAHA moar:  [link]

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can be seen on my Tumblr here: [link]

i'm too busy to update the site right now.  but it will happen eventually!!

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Tagged by

01. Full name: Tulum Astra Von Partice

02. Best friend: Noelee, she's become a sister over the years.

03. Sexuality: oh my, um...

04. Favourite colour: PINK!

05. Relationship status: Well, you see, there is a Leo that i, um....

06. Ideal mate: Oh i'm not picky! she needs to be DOMINATED

07. Odd Skills/Skills in general: I enjoy sewing and cleaning, but nothing out of the ordinary.

08. Last Amusing Escapade: Oh deer, well, there was a situation with a pisces on the beach in Delphinus one day...

09. Favourite food: anything sweet and sugary!

10. Crushes: Oh my, i would never tell!

11. Favourite music/song: Classical is good for reading or relaxing, but i really enjoy dancing to electronic!

12. Biggest fear: Being lost in a forest.

13. Biggest fantasy: I hope that one day i discover that i am a princess!*swoons*

14. Quirks: Surely i have no idea what you're talking about... *eats flower*

15. Bad habit(s): Perhaps i over-analyze things from time to All thetime

16. Biggest regret: *mutters something about how old she is and how mediocre her job is*

17. Best kept secret: It would not be my best kept secret if i told you now, would it?

18. Last thought: Cecelia, is my dress ready yet? OMFG what is this adorable creature!? *pets Pom the ferret*

19. Worst sexual/romantic experience: Lets just say, bathtub lovin' is dangerous..

20. Biggest insecurity: How do i look ok? where is a mirror, OH GOD MY HAIR IS ATROCIOUS!!!

21. Tag?: Cecelia, Catalina, Melissa, and Gil (if they have not done it yet!)

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my tumblr post can be read here: [link]

if i had a reblog/giveaway contest for 4g and 2g earrings, would you bother reblogging/liking (even if you don't have stretched ears?)

i have about 50 pairs of earrings between 4g and 2g that don't fit anymore (since i'm 0g now).  and i have no friends irl…. so perhaps i can get some more followers out of it.

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THIS IS SOMETHING YOU WOULD PARTICIPATE IN!!  

here are some of them:



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